Because Our Politicians Are Our Life Preservers
by Zara123
Summary: She’s Serena van der Woodsen, notoriously thoughtless and reckless and destructive, but he doesn’t care. N/S.


**A/N:** My first Serena/Nate one-shot! Hope you all enjoy! Remember to review :)

**Because Our Politicians Are Our ****Life Preservers**

~ _And even though everyone tells her not to touch the spindle wheel, she pricks her finger anyway._ ~

Serena knows she's making a mistake.

She knows it the first time she lies to herself – tells Blair that it's only platonic between her and Tripp.

She knows it when she kisses him in his office a week later – and again in the elevator.

She knows it when she gets in the car after Thanksgiving – leaves Nate on the curb with his heart in his hands and no where to put it.

She knows she keeps making these mistakes. But she's powerless to stop herself. Because she's fucking Serena van der Woodsen – fucking everything up.

Blair Waldorf's not the only one who gets wrapped up in her fairy tales. Because all of a sudden it's like Serena's thirteen again – crushing and gushing over someone she could never have. Except she's not thirteen – she's eighteen. And the difference is he wants her _back_ – and it's _so easy_ she lets it happen.

It's eighteen year old Serena living in a fairy tale like she's thirteen. And even though everyone tells her not to touch the spindle wheel (Blair, her mom, Nate, Chuck), she pricks her finger anyway.

Because that's how she is – Chuck said it best. She's a train wreck, wreaking havoc on everything and **everyone**. She's best at doing what she's not supposed to do.

So she gets in the car with Tripp.

And now she's stuck in some lodge in the middle of nowhere. She's bored out of her mind – all for a married man she doesn't even like. But she's telling herself it's worth it – he's worth it. That he's going to leave his wife (they never do) (they'll live happily – together (but not for ever after)).

Tripp lets her play pretend.

And she's only calling Nate out of necessity – not because she keeps thinking about that night in the bar where they almost kissed (and a different night in a different bar two years ago). Because Nate's her_ friend_ and he used to be Blair's _boy_friend and she's messed up enough times in that friendship not to do it again.

Then it suddenly hits her – what the hell is she doing here? That second call with Nate there's no denying, no make-believing anymore. Tripp is lying – just like she's lying to herself. She's a jobless, homeless college drop-out (no more fairy tales).

Tripp's waiting for her outside, desperate and pleading. He tells her how much he cares, that he only wants her to be happy (they all do).

But she's done.

She doesn't like him. She doesn't even want him.

But because she's Serena fucking van der Woodsen, she gets into the car a second time – no talking this time (like it means anything to either of them). And now that they're inside, he's telling her that he _loves_ her – even though she knows he mostly loves himself.

That's all girls like Serena van der Woodsen will be to men like Tripp Vanderbilt – a pretty little thing to make them feel young and carefree and _wild_.

No, he doesn't love her. He loves what she's done, what she's been. But he doesn't know her. And if he doesn't know her, then _how can he love her_?

Next thing she knows, there's a flash, a crash, and the car's stopped moving.

She wakes up and there's strangers hovering around her – telling her _everything's__ going to be okay_.

Tripp isn't around (she tries but she can't bring herself to care). But she sees Nate. She doesn't question it – all that matters is that he's here.

**Nate's here.**

She breathes him in like a sigh of relief.

And he stays with her, all through the night – long after Lily's gone – frantic about a lost letter – and Blair's gone with Chuck because he needs her (like _she needs Nate_).

He sleeps with one hand under his cheek, she notices – and he looks so pure and devoted and _good_ that it brings a smile to Serena's face. Her heart swells with a kind of…love.

She's Serena van der Woodsen – notoriously thoughtless and reckless and destructive – but he doesn't care. He knows she's a screw up. He knows what she's done, who she's been. He _knows_ her – he knows Serena van der Woodsen.

But he's here anyway.

Because if you asked him, he would say – yes, Serena van der Woodsen screws up (but she's not a screw up) and yes, she's made mistakes (not that she'd _ever_ be a mistake) and yes, she's flawed (he wouldn't have her any other way).

He's here because he's done – waiting. He's here because he knows she feels it too – what he's been holding back all this time. He's here because even though she's Serena van der Woodsen and he's Nathaniel Archibald – going _too_ fast and _too_ slow and never finding the right time to find _each other_ – he loves her.

They make mistakes but, **in each other**, neither of them would have it _any other way_.


End file.
